5 episodes that showcase how Big Mouth’s kids have (slowly) grown up

It’s easy to root for Missy Foreman-Greenwald. As the resident earnest nerd with a well-meaning streak a mile wide, Missy began the series somewhat behind many of her schoolmates in terms of physical development. (Not that she would want her extensive fantasy-life crush, Nathan Fillion, to know that.) And even when Missy would lose control, it was usually prompted by all-too-real incidents of thoughtlessness or cruelty that pushed her past her usual self-effacing manner in ways she later regretted.

But in “The Hugest Period Ever,” we get a look at a Missy as she starts to both question and understand her Blackness. Taken under the wing of her older cousins, she not only gets schooled in cultural history that had been marginalized in her parents’ biracial household, but she also starts dressing differently, culminating in the symbolic change of her hair to braids with extensions. (As opposed to simply shampooing with the Tom’s Of Maine 6-in-1 cleaner her mom had been using on it.) Later episodes in the season would see her taking even bigger steps forward—starting a diversity club at school, re-emerging from an identity crisis as “mosaic Missy” (complete with a change in the voice actor portraying her, from Jenny Slate to Ayo Edibiri)—but this was where her journey really began.

Matthew (Andrew Rannells) began life on Big Mouth as comic relief, and a fairly one-note iteration of it. Periodically popping up to deliver sassy zingers about whatever plotline was currently unfolding, he was more of a prop than a fully realized character. However, as the first season progressed, we slowly got a fuller picture of him: As the only out gay student in his grade at Bridgeton Middle School, as a kid struggling with his identity at home, where he’s adopted a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, and, perhaps most powerfully, as someone realizing he had been bullied as a child in Texas before his family moved to Westchester.

But those home-life travails start to come to a head in “The Funeral,” when Matthew’s mother—who had always remained blissfully, if willfully, ignorant of his sexual identity—stumbles upon racy texts on Matthew’s phone to his boyfriend, Aiden (Zachary Quinto), and loses her cool, disinviting him to participate in their annual church cook-off ritual. But rather than shrinking into the background, Matthew, with help from Aiden, finds the strength to stand up for himself. He and Aiden end up participating in the cook-off together, and although it ends with Matthew estranged from his mother (and a heartbreaking song, “I Used To Be Her Favorite”), it’s a big step forward for his character.

Jay Bilzerian (Jason Mantzoukas) has always been the raging id of Big Mouth, which is really saying something, what with how hormone-driven and excitable most of the characters are at any given moment. But—unsurprisingly, for someone voiced by Mantzoukas—Jay’s unabashed horniness and filter-free voice make him less the “says what everyone is secretly thinking” guy, and more the “says horrible things that suggest a profoundly dark home life” guy. And indeed, that deep well of pain borne of a tragic backstory and family makes his bizarre optimism appealing, as opposed to purely absurd.

But even Jay has moments of growth, especially in the back half of season three, when he realizes he’s bisexual, and spends some time living with Nick’s family, slowly discovering the value of a loving parental relationship. But in “The ASSes,” he not only reconnects with his father (through the admittedly disastrous decision to sell drugs), he also begins taking ADHD medication, and realizes he’s capable of far more than merely continually succumbing to his worst instincts. Jay is still a go-for-broke wild card, but he’s come to know himself quite well in recent seasons. It’s a good look for an unrestrained wild kid.

Change isn’t always wholly for the better. Consider Jessi Glaser (Jessi Klein), the sarcastic and awkward girl who began the series as the most stable and successful of the lead characters, but whose disintegrating home life and crumbling emotional support apparatus soon led her to act out, develop struggles with anxiety and depression, and become more unsure of herself in nearly every area of her life.

The trend continued throughout season four, when Jessi transferred to a fancy prep school in New York City. Feeling like an outcast and intimidated by the elite student body, the Depression Kitty (Jean Smart) returns to smother Jessi’s ambitions—but a chance meeting with an attractive kid, Michael Angelo (Sterling K. Brown), brings her hormones roaring back. It’s a sharp-eyed look at the tenuous relationship with “being okay” for many who struggle with mental illness. The episode where she truly evolves is the season finale (see: the next entry on this list), but this installment is one of the best in terms of showing where Jessi is now, versus where she began.

“What Are You Gonna Do?,” the season-four finale, is a big one for most of the major characters, nearly all of whom have a breakthrough moment of one form or another. Jessi learns to express gratitude and matures as a result; Matthew comes out to his dad and immediately gets emotional reassurance from him; Jay and Lola break up in appropriately spectacular fashion. It’s a steady parade of meaningful character beats throughout.

But it’s insecure, fearful Nick (Nick Kroll) who lands the most devastating blow against his anxieties this episode. After his body is taken over by Nick Starr, the self-absorbed asshole version of himself from the future, he and his friends join together to defeat the narcissistic jerk version of Nick. In doing so, he learns to make peace with the scared and vulnerable aspect of himself that he’d always buried deep in his subconscious, accepting that a flawed and needy part of himself is a necessary part of his journey to self-acceptance. He’s far from defeating all his inner demons, but thanks to some tough love from his friends, Nick’s in a place where he just might be able to become the better person he’s always wanted to be.