The most disappointing films of 2023

Adam Driver versus dinosaurs was all we needed to hear to get on board with what looked like a fun time-travel adventure. Unfortunately, 65 wasn’t that much fun, and it didn’t have any time traveling, either. Perhaps this was a case of a badly managed marketing campaign that made the film look like one thing when it was in fact something else entirely. The studio might have even gotten away with it if 65 had been a better film, or at least didn’t take itself so seriously.

The Marvel movie slump turned out to be one of the big stories of the year in entertainment, but at the start of 2023, it still seemed like there was a chance the franchise could pull itself out of the doldrums. That is, until Ant-Man And The Wasp: Quantumania came out in February and added fuel to the fire of superhero fatigue. The underwhelming, effects-heavy sequel was supposed to launch the next phase of the MCU, but the filmmakers forgot about everything that made the previous Ant-Man films charming.

The Exorcist: The Believer may share a title with the film that popularized the possessed child horror trope, and it even brings back Ellen Burstyn as Chris MacNeil and Linda Blair as Regan MacNeil to remind audiences of the connection, but it feels more like another pale imitation than a worthy sequel. Director David Gordon Green, who successfully revitalized the Halloween franchise in 2018, couldn’t pull off the same trick here. This ultimately hollow film relies more on cheap jump scares than genuine horror and never manages to justify its existence.

It’s been nine years since the third Expendables film came out, and maybe the franchise should have remained a trilogy. It’s quite a feat to put Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Andy Garcia, Tony Jaa, and Megan Fox into one action movie and still wind up with the lackluster snooze fest that is Expend4bles. Why go to the trouble of making another film for this franchise when you have nothing new to say? Even the actors seemed bored. This cynical sequel was fun for no one.

After reports of production delays, a revolving door of cast and crew, reshoots, a host of legal troubles involving its star, and a constantly shifting release date, our expectations for The Flash weren’t high. Then we started hearing reports out of CinemaCon and other early screenings that, despite all evidence pointing to the contrary, the film was somehow actually good. Not just good but, according to DC Studios co-chair James Gunn, “fucking amazing.” Even Tom Cruise weighed in with an endorsement. Warner Bros. knew what it was doing by featuring the return of Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne in the trailers. So when the time finally came to see it for ourselves, we’ll admit we went in with the teensiest bit of hope. Turns out, we were right all along. Director Andy Muschietti wasn’t able to miraculously salvage even a halfway decent movie from the wreckage. What a shame that this was the project that put Michael Keaton back in the Batsuit after all these years.

Based on the trailers and early buzz for Fool’s Paradise we were expecting a juicy, modern riff on Being There, set in Hollywood. Instead, we got a toothless satire that had about as much to say about celebrity and the entertainment industry as its mute protagonist, Latte Pronto. Charlie Day—who wrote, directed, and starred in the film—recruited a cavalcade of familiar faces to join his cast, including Ray Liotta (in one of his final roles), Ken Jeong, Kate Beckinsale, Adrian Brody, Jason Sudeikis, and Jason Bateman. But despite the presence of some terrific comic actors, there’s little humor to the satire. Without that essential component, it’s just a series of scenes without a point.

The problems with Ghosted started well before the cameras rolled. It was originally planned as a vehicle for Marvel buds Chris Evans and Scarlett Johansson, but after Johansson had to drop out due scheduling conflicts she was replaced by Ana de Armas. That might have worked out fine for another film, but the premise of this asks us to buy Evans as a hapless ordinary farm boy who gets mixed up with a legendary super spy (de Armas, who is never convincing as such). That’s just the beginning of the logical inconsistencies that keep you from getting truly invested in the story. It’s just a series of nearly constant reminders of all the better films you’d rather be watching instead.

After one disappointing film based on Disney’s Haunted Mansion theme-park attraction, the studio took another crack at it this year, with only slightly better results. The ensemble cast of this Haunted Mansion is fine, the characters are mostly enjoyable, and the mansion itself looks gorgeous, with plenty of references fans will recognize. But the story itself leaves a lot to be desired. The muddled script could have used at least one more draft to bring all the different elements together into a complete and cohesive picture. As it is, it’s less than the sum of its parts.

Even the presence of pop diva Celine Dion (who also served as an executive producer) in her big-screen debut can’t save Love Again, a dull, sappy rom-com. Priyanka Chopra Jonas and Sam Heughan play star-crossed lovers who connect through anonymous text messages, until they meet and connect in person, at which point it becomes all too clear (to the audience at least) that they have zero chemistry. The rest of the film plays out the predictable rom-com formula, but it never recovers from that glaring flaw. What an unfortunate waste of two attractive, otherwise likable stars and a really good hook.

Perhaps no other film had a steeper road to climb this year than The Marvels. Righting the foundering ship of an entire multi-billion-dollar franchise is a lot to ask of a single superhero sequel, even one whose tagline is “higher, further, faster.” Perhaps The Marvels was always doomed to fail, but the whiff of studio interference didn’t help. There was a good movie in there somewhere, it just got tangled up in messy edits, bizarre plot detours, and an anemic story with an underwritten villain. Hopefully Marvel Studios will take away the right lessons from the film’s failure, though we’re not optimistic.

It’s hard to dislike Owen Wilson, but disliking Paint is not difficult at all. If you were under the false impression that he plays painting instructor and public TV icon Bob Ross in the film, that’s completely intentional. His character Carl Nargle shares Ross’ personal style, soft-spoken manner, and love of mall art, but that’s where the similarities end. Like Carl himself, this film feels hopelessly outdated, like a poor imitation of a Judd Apatow film from the 2000s, but even less funny.

The folks at Lucasfilm wouldn’t let Zack Snyder play in their sandbox, so he decided to go off and make his “more mature” take on Star Wars in a sandbox of his own. Maybe there was a reason Lucasfilm turned him down. With Rebel Moon — Part One: A Child Of Fire, Snyder once again delivers a film that relies too much on stylish visuals without any substance to support them. His devoted legion of fans are insisting that all the good stuff must have been cut out of the initial release and they’re demanding the release of a new “Snydercut,” and he’s happy to oblige. Because leaving all the best material on the cutting room floor is totally how moviemaking works these days.

The original Shazam! wasn’t a cinematic masterpiece or anything, but it was a fun family film, something in short supply in the DCEU Justice League era. Then the sequel, Shazam! Fury Of The Gods, came along and squandered any residual goodwill the original film had built with fans. Bloated, dark (literally and figuratively), and CGI-heavy, it bit off way more than it could chew, and then choked in the process. According to star Zachary Levi it was bad marketing that sank the film, but that doesn’t account for those who paid to see it and left the theater underwhelmed.

After reigning for decades as king of the box office, the last remnants of luster finally flaked off of the Disney crown in 2023. And in late December, there was one last disappointment in store with the release of Wish. There’s nothing particularly innovative about the look of the film, or the music, or the storyline. It’s just variations on the same old themes, with some self-congratulatory references to previous (better) animated features woven in to celebrate the studio’s 100th anniversary. With each new film that comes out, it seems like the studio is moving farther and farther away from its legacy as a leader in cutting-edge animation. But as evidenced by Wish, it would still rather look back than forward.